A Lemon in Candy Land
by DeadRatSam
Summary: It's based on the classic board game, but written as if the game were played at as a fairy tale. It's rated M for graphic violence, perversion and necrophilia.


Summary: Two brats try to rescue the king of Candy Land; Lord Licorice has his own sadistic fun.

Rating: I personally don't think it's too gory or anything so I'll only give it an R.

Notes: I don't claim to own the rights to this lovely game. I think Hasbro owns it. All characters are actual characters in the board game, and although they aren't really out of character, the villain (my version) definitely takes things further than what would be expected of a children's board game villain.

Onto the fic!

To be read in a glorious voice, perhaps with a British accent

_Candy Land_

_The entire kingdom is in peril. You see King Kandy has disappeared. It had been known that the evil Lord Licorice would want to take over Candy Land. He has finally taken action._

_Candy Land has lost its sparkle but the proud people have not lost their hopes that order will be returned and the King will be found._

_Gramma Nutt believes in two children who can save the King. So she asks the Princess Lolly send for them._

_They are the Candy Land Kids. Assisted by the four Gingerbread Men from the Cookie Patrol, the kids will set off down the rainbow road. Throughout the land they will search for the King and surely bring the sparkle back to Candy Land._

End of glorious British voice

The group of six starts off on the rainbow road and sees ahead the Gingerbread Plum Trees. Here lives Plumpy, "The Last of the Plumpa Trolls."

"Hello there, I am Plumpy the Caretaker of the Gingerbread Plum Trees. I used to gather the fallen fruit as it was ripe but now I am so distressed, I just can't stop eating. Please children, you must find the King. If he were back in power I just know I could be happy again. Then I would no long gorge myself on these tasty fruits," wheezed Plumpy as struggled to lift an amorphous handful of plums.

" Surely Sir, we will find the King soon. Take care and rest assured."

Onward the group travels down the rainbow road. Unfortunately, they didn't know of the short cut just before the Gingerbread Plum Trees that would have shortened their distance to travel. It would have taken them close to the Peanut Brittle House; however, their path leads them past Plumpy and down the road towards Peppermint Forest.

Gradually the rolling green pastures change to icy ground. Soon they are among beautiful red and white candy canes growing in the icy fields. Gleefully chopping away at the canes stands Mr. Mint.

" Hello there, I am Mr. Mint the Keeper of the Royal Peppermint Forest. I turn these canes into beautiful whistles and flutes. Lately though my peppermint piccolos just haven't sounded as sweet as they used to. Please children, you must find the King. If he were back in power I just know I could be happy again with the sweet music from these candy instruments," screeched an oddly excited minty Mr. Mint.

" Surely Sir, we will find the King soon. Take care and rest assured."

Onward the group travels down the road and through the twists and turns. Had they stayed in the Royal Peppermint Forest too long, they also would have been afflicted by what curious substance Mr. Mint had been growing among the candy canes. Luckily as they approach the Gumdrop Mountains the red Gingerbread Man spots a different path.

" I see it, it must be the Gumdrop Pass. We must take this short-cut if we wish to reach the King as soon as possible."

They take the path but as nightfall comes they must set up camp until morning. When morning comes they once again set off down the road. Soon they see the landscape change from snowy mountain valley to bleak desert. Ahead lie Licorice Castle, and just making his way back home is the evil Lord Licorice.

The Gingerbread Men are worried.

" We must quickly pass this area. If Lord Licorice should capture us then we will not be able to get to the King in time."

This was all just too much fun for Lord Licorice. He had been following the group but after they set up camp in the Gumdrop Pass he had passed them up and now waited at the edge of his grounds.

" Hello there children! And how are you all doing on this fine day?"

" Hurry along now, we mustn't talk to him lest we hear his lies and misdirection."

"Misdirection? Oh children, I want nothing but to see you succeed. Hurry along and you will find the King and his castle at the end of this road, but beware of obstacles… I wish you luck." And with a smirk and a wave Lord Licorice watched as the group backed away and walked off.

The Group picked up pace down the road and soon came to the Peanut Brittle House where resides Gramma Nutt.

" Hello Children! Please come in and enjoy some warm peanut brittle I just made."

"So Gramma, how are things?"

"Oh, fine children."

"Nothing wrong… nothing wrong with your nuts?"

"Why not at all dearies."

"Because you see…" "No, never mind."

And with that, the group quietly finished their brittle left the Peanut Brittle House.

"Good Luck children!" spewed an oddly non-worried Gramma Nutt.

Soon they came upon the Lollipop Woods where the beautiful Princess Lolly grows and guards the lollipops.

" Hello Children! I knew you would come. I'd love to help you but it is my duty to tend to these woods and grow these sweet lollipops. Please take these lollipops with you and find my father, and say hello to my mother when you meet her."

Onward they journeyed and soon they came upon the Ice Cream Sea.

" Hello Children and my loyal Gingerbread Men. I will help you cross this Ice Cream Sea on my Ice Cream Float."

And so they all boarded the float and were guided across the beautiful Ice Cream Sea. Soon they came ashore.

" I must stay and watch over the Ice Cream Sea. I thank you for your assistance and praise your courage. I just know that you will be the ones to restore order to the kingdom."

The group walked for some time before they came to the Molasses Swamp. There they saw the kindly Molasses Monster Gloppy. However, before they could reach the friendly monster, they became stuck to the molasses that covers the road.

" Don't you wish to save the King? If so, then what are you doing carelessly walking into a molasses swamp?"

"Lord Licorice! Don't fool us; if you have any intentions on helping then please do so, otherwise your presence is unwanted!" barked the sticky Gingerbread Men.

" Oh Mr. Licorice would you please help us?" whined the Candy Land Kids.

" 'Mr. Licorice'? You dare insult me and expect my help? You know... that molasses quite suits you gingerbread men. I will leave you now. Surely if you're meant to then you will overcome this small obstacle and be able to rescue the King... you're not too far away."

And off he went down the road past Gloppy. The group saw him turn left eventually and disappear on the horizon.

After some time they were able to free themselves from the molasses.

" Oh, I knew you would be able to free yourself, but you must hurry. The King and his castle lie at the end of this road. You are almost there. I wish you luck and am confident that you will save our kingdom," spurted Gloppy who was quite enjoying his molasses.

So the group walked on and reached the end of the rainbow road.

" Well since Lord Licorice headed left, I say we head right."

Soon they caught sight of and ran towards the castle expecting to meet the King. But after all their searching they could not find him. They searched high and low. They searched throughout the main castle and then each individual ice cream cone tower to no avail.

Just then they heard a scream.

" The King!"

They ran down to the main chamber but couldn't find where the noise was coming from. Then they heard the scream again.

"The dungeon!"

The Gingerbread Men led the group to a door hidden well beneath a table. Quietly they stole down the stairs but could not restrict their screams as they saw what horrible fate had fallen upon the former King.

"Did you really think a few cookies and two brats could save this land?" cackled the giddy Lord Licorice.

Just then the group heard more screams coming from one of the cells.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot."

Lord Licorice went to the cell to let out the woman and remove her blindfold. Upon seeing the body of her husband the King, Queen Frostine cried out in anguish.

"Oh god! What do you intend to do with me now?"

" Surely you remember life before you married your precious King?

" You can't still –

" DON'T THINK WE ALL JUST MOLDED OURSELVES TO FIT YOUR PERFECT LIFE!"

" I don't regret the choice I've made. I was happier with the King than I could ever have been with you. Don't think that you could ever be half the man he was."

"No dear, not even ¼," giggled Lord Licorice. Of course he had to laugh considering the neatly quartered condition of the King's corpse. "Well you can keep your happiness and die knowing one more thing."

He led her to another chamber...

" What little of the pitiful subjects your King once ruled are no longer part of this great kingdom."

She saw the bodies of all her closest friends and loyal subjects Mr. Mint, Gramma Nutt, almost everyone in the kingdom (except for Gloppy and Plumpy, for some reason Lord Licorice liked them).

And then she screamed out in horrible agony as she recognized the badly mangled body of her beloved daughter.

" LOLLY! (she now sobbed heavily and her words were stuttered) how, how could you?"

" Yes, I never did like that little girl, looked too much like the King. (At this he snickered.) But I won't forget her tears. The poor princess being ravished in the precious forest she was so fond of. Don't worry though, the ounce of respect I hold for you won't allow me to corrupt your elegance... at least not while you're still alive."

" WHAT!"

" I know you won't be my willing partner. I will get what I want though, one way or another. And you two, you blond little runts have seen your last moments. Now, prepare to die."

With that he pushed them over a straw mat through which they fell thirteen feet onto the sharp spikes in the room below.

The Gingerbread Men attempted to bring Lord Licorice down but were thrown into the pit as well.

" And now my dear Frostine..."

" Please wai—"

"Not today my dear," he said as he forced his licorice lancet through her chest.

He stood over her collapsed body, admiring her cold skin. "...cold skin," He chuckled noting how she always was so frigid back then. Gathering her in his arms he carried her up the stairs, out past the main chamber and up towards the King's chamber.

"We're here sweetness, " he chimed as he dropped her beautiful corpse onto the grand bed.

"Now you will have me as you should have long ago. Now you are mine."

He gently eased her stiffening corpse out of her lovely gown and then proceeded to disrobe himself.

Oh, how his hot flesh nearly warmed her frozen body.

"Had you sense enough, I'm sure you could have enjoyed this my darling. As a matter of fact, I will keep you here with me. Please wait here while I go and properly dispose of your former subjects."

He strolled down the corridors naked, humming to himself a tune he had just made up.

Now he had his kingdom, now he had his queen. Life was good.

THE END.

I'm ready for any criticisms. Although I should say this, If it seems like this story was written at a third-grade level... well it is based on a children's board game and it is meant to sound like a fairy tale.

Still though, I am open to any criticism.

(I'll start of with the first one.)

It wasn't nearly as lemony as I planned but I'm still satisfied with the way it turned out. Plus I may have a slight problem with keeping the story in a set tense (past/present).

Also, I have tried to fix the format. Hopefully it isn't as hard to read as it was before.

Another thing: I am very critical of others' fanfics. I've noticed that too many crappy fics are praised endlessly. If this story sucks, please tell me so and how it sucks.


End file.
